Do Not Disturb
by MikeJaffa
Summary: So I asked myself, "At the risk of being seen as retarded, how could I get Kyohei into Meg and Jo's bed without him having sex with Meg and/or Jo?" and myself came up with this. Enjoy.


TITLE: Do Not Disturb

AUTHOR: MikeJaffa

SYNOPSIS: So I asked myself, "At the risk of being seen as retarded, how could I get Kyohei into Meg and Jo's bed without him having sex with Meg and/or Jo?" and myself came up with this. Enjoy,

DISCLAIMER: Gonzo owns Burst Angel. I am not making any money off this story.

"Hey, Bro'." Daiki Ichimonji, the lanky boy from Kyohei's cooking school, shook Kyohe's shoulder. "Bro'. I think we're there. That's it, isn't it?"

Kyohei blinked and sat up in the passenger seat of Daiki's SUV. They were pulling up to Sei's trailer. "Yes, that's it. Thank God they didn't move it." Amy usually texted him when the girls moved the trailer, but with his phone dead, he hadn't known if it had been moved, and their e-mail address was in the phone's contacts - he hadn't bothered to write it down in the three months he'd been cooking for them.

"What's going on?" Daiki said. "Looks like they're having a bad day, too." Leo Jin's huge truck was parked in front of the trailer, and panels were opened all around the trailer's front end with lights set up around it as the sun went down.

"Misery loves company, I guess," Kyohei said. "Park by the door."

As they got out of the SUV, Leo came down the steps. "Oh, Kyo! You are in trouble, my man-"

"Kyohei." Sei spoke very quietly as she came down the steps. "You're late. Why didn't you call?" Her eyes found Daiki. "And who is this? You know my policy on visitors."

"I'm sorry, Sei," Kyohei said. "This is Daiki Ichimonji. He's in my cooking class. My phone died. Just died." He handed it to her. "It's all charged up but it doesn't work."

"I'll have Amy look at it," Sei said. "But why are you late?"

"Because of the worst day at cooking school in the history of cooking schools," Kyohei said. "We had a substitute because Miss Hongo is sick and it turns out we know more than the sub. But we had some five minute exercises that took… I dunno how long because everything that could go wrong went wrong. And then the scooter won't start. Daiki checked and the battery is dead and maybe it needs a new alternator. Daiki gave me a lift over here. Tell me you're not starving."

"Jo and Meg got tired of waiting, so I sent them out to dinner," Sei said. "So they get a date out of this; that's something. Amy and I were grazing on leftovers."

Kyohei groaned.

"Tell you what," Sei said. "You come in and take a rest. You feel up to cooking something simple, fine. You don't, I'll let you choose the take out place to order from."

"Thanks, Sei." Kyohei wrinkled his nose as he sat on the steps. "What happened? You guys hit a skunk?"

Leo said, "Hydraulic leak. That's why they didn't move the trailer today. It's not safe to move this thing if the hydraulic system is on the fritz. But I've been at it for three hours and I can't find it!"

Daiki said, "Want some help?"

"Sure-if Sei doesn't mind."

"You're Kyo's friend," Sei said, "so it's ok."

Daiki and Leo stuck their heads under an open access panel. Sei sat on the step next to Kyohei and said, "And while that's going on, there is a new Japanese government whose prime minister has made ferreting out money laundering by international organized crime the cause du jour, so I have to produce my financial records by *tomorrow* because I can't really be fighting monsters - I must be a front. Which is great because my bookkeeping sucks. I should have hired an accountant." She smiled at Kyohei. "But then we wouldn't have met, would we? So I guess I got the better deal in the long run."

"Uh, I guess, Sei." Kyohei squirmed a little at Sei's somewhat intimate turn of phrase. He saw past Sei to Leo and Daiki looking over their shoulders, then exchanging glances. Then they turned back to their work.

Sei slapped Kyo's shoulder. "C'mon, sport. Let's go in."

/

/

"Bro'." Daiki was shaking him again. Kyohei woke up on the couch. Daiki and Leo were standing over him.

"What?" Kyohei said.

"Gotta move, Bro'. Sorry."

Kyo got up as Sei came over to watch. Kyo asked, "What?"

As Leo and Daiki went to work with tools around the couch, Leo explained, "Only thing left to check is the secondary pump, and that's under the couch. But pressure's still going down and we've checked everything else. Got your end, Daiki?"

"Got it, Leo."

The tossed the couch over and then pulled open the floor board. The skunk stench got even stronger.

"Oh, yeah," Daiki said, "it's gotta be here."

"But I'm not seeing anything," Leo said.

"There is that little-"

"But that wouldn't be enough to…." He reached down and fiddled around. "Everything feels solid. Ok." He pulled out his smart phone and started tabbing an app. "I'm going to start the pump and see what happens."

The pump whirred to life. Everything seemed fine for a second, then a jet of blue fluid squirted out and blasted Kyo and Sei. Leo's thumb slammed on the phone and shut the pump off.

Daiki said, "Well, there's your problem."

/

/

"Kyo?" Sei's voice came through the door of the bathroom. "You all dried off?"

Naked in the bathroom, Kyo said, "Yes."

"Good." Her arm came through the door with a small bundle. "Here. These should fit."

Kyo put on the New York Giants t-shirt and jeans. They were a little baggy, but no by much. He came out of the bathroom and found Sei wearing flip-flops, Daisy Dukes, and a t-shirt from the Love and Happy Culinary Design school.

Kyo asked, "You bought a school t-shirt?"

"Of course. I wanted to show my support."

"Thanks. Uh…how did you have something in my size?"

"It belongs to He Who Will Not Be Named Under Penalty of Disembowelment Number 247. And in answer to the next question, yes, you are welcome to anything he left with me. Just remind me sometime."

"Ok." Kyo leaned against the wall, not sure of his feelings. He didn't always like the job and sometimes thought he wouldn't be working for Sei if he didn't need money to go to France. But the thought that…she had a boyfriend…hurt. Kyo looked into the living room area. The floor was still torn up. "Where are Daiki and Leo?"

"Getting some part from Leo's hop. Some little doohickey that isn't as tight as it should be."

Kyo yawned.

"Tired?" Sei asked.

Kyo nodded.

"I'd let you sleep on my bed," Sei said, "but it's got files all over because of this bloody RICO crap I have to deal with. And Amy's room is for cyborgs only as far as I'm concerned. So that leaves-" She broke off then went on: "What the hell. Meg didn't say when she'd be back, and besides, I own this place. Let's see what they've got." Sei slid open the door to Meg and Jo's room, and her eyes went wide. "Kyohie! Look at this."

Kyohei looked around Sei. The room was dominated by a wide bed with a comforter and multiple pillows at the end.

"Can you believe that?" Sei yelped.

"You didn't know?" Kyo asked.

"No!" Sei said. "And I respected their privacy. But that…Meg is always after me to find a nice apartment. And it turns out she has the nicest bed in the place while I sleep on a monastic cot-" She broke off and looked at Kyo. "Come on." Sei kicked off her flip-flops, got under the comforter, and squirmed over, making room for Kyo. She tapped the mattress. "Come here."

"Uh, Sei, maybe we should-"

"Kyohei, shut up, take your shoes off, and get your ass in this bed."

Kyo shuddered a little as he levered his feet out of his shoes and crossed to the bed. He lay on his back next to Sei. She pulled to comforter over them and started to lay down half on Kyo, then held herself up. "Wait- I don't want to pin your arm. You can put your arms around me…there you go." She settled down, nestling her head on his shoulder. "Have a nicer bed than me, will they? We'll just see about that. Under the newly instituted Emergency Rules, the Boss - that being me - and essential support staff - that's you - may commandeer it if needed. And if they don't like it, they can take their lesbian love fest on the road." Sei's palms pressed against his sides. "Mmmm… and this is very nice. You're a little cuddler, aren't you, Kyo?"

"Uh, I guess so, Sei."

"It's a skill very few men possess; you should cultivate it. Leo's great in bed, but he's no good at cuddling; it's like snuggling with a rock, and the man has no clue how to hug you without crushing your lungs. And I can't take him anywhere nice. Jerk."

"So, you and Leo…"

"Leo is a bootie call when I can't take it anymore, quickly followed by the realization of why we can't stand each other. We can work well together, but relationship-wise we're oil and water. I'm not actually seeing someone right now. I went though three boyfriends when I hired you, including the previous owner of your shirt."

"What - three boyfriends in one month!?"

"Uh-huh. And it's my fault. You should be glad we're just friends, Kyo, because I'm a nightmare. I guess that's where I make it for being cool and professional most of the time. I go through men the way Jo goes through ammo. My affairs are always short, passionate, and disastrous, and I can't seem to stop myself. How long has it been since we met, three months? You've actually been with me longer than the longest relationship I've had for years. And I'm starting to hear it."

"Hear what, Sei?"

"Ribbing from my grandfather. 'Maybe I should meet this young man?' 'He's the cook, Grandfather.' 'Ah, yes, and you spend a lot of time in the kitchen with him, yes? Did I mention I proposed to your grandmother in the kitchen?' Uhhrrrgggg! Know what I mean?"

"I guess. Daiki thinks you're my sugar momma."

"They should leave us alone."

"I suppose." Kyo was having trouble sorting it out - being "just friends" with someone referring to them as "us" while they snuggled in someone else's bed. But he had to admit, it was kind of nice. He absently started rubbing Sei's back.

"Oh, that is nice," she purred. "Oooohhh, yeeeeeeesssss, don't stop. Mmm, where did you learn how to do that?"

"I just, uh, I'm just doing it."

"Well, it feels wonderful. Mmm, I am sooooo tense, and you have suuuuuuche sensitive hands." She moaned softly. "Oh, this is just what I needed."

(Amy's head poked around then open door, then she turned and crept towards the living room.)

"Mmmmmrrrr…" Sei groaned. "Oooh, a master chef, a masseur, and a perfect little cuddle bug all in one... I lucked out with you. I think I'm going to be taking a lot of vacations in France after you leave us. I'll need my Kyo fix … Mmmm…little lower…yes, and to the right…"

(Amy, Daiki, and Leo's heads came around the side of the doorframe. Sei and Kyo didn't notice.)

"…other right…" Sei moaned. "…yes, feel that knot? Right there….yes, there! There! …. Oh, yes … oh, harder …haaaaarrrrrrdeeeeeerrrrr… deeeeepppeeerrrrrr…. oooooohhhhhhh, yeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhhh…."

Amy giggled a little too loudly. Sei's eyes went wide, then she sprang onto all fours, to see Daiki, Leo, and Amy peeking around the door.

Sei lunged at them. "GET OUT OF HERE!" The three peeping toms ran off, laughing, as Sei slid the door shut.

Kyo started to get up. "Maybe we should-"

"No, we'll rest a little longer." She got back in bed and was lying on top of him again. "Little more."

Kyo resumed jamming his knuckles onto that particular spot on her back.

"Oh, yessssss, perfect," Sei sighed. "I'm so glad I found you, Kyo. You're so good to me. You're such a good friend."

/

/

Kyo opened his eyes at the sound of footsteps in the room. He was just processing that (A) he had probably fallen asleep with Sei still half on top of him in Meg and Jo's bed; and (B) the aforementioned Meg and Jo were coming through the door, Meg's back to him, Jo pushing the other girl towards the bed as they kissed passionately, when Meg landed on top of him. Realizing that she had landed on something besides her mattress, Meg thrashed and sprang up, hitting the light on her night table.

"KYO!" Meg shouted. "WHAT THE-" Then she saw Sei. "Oh. Sei. I'm sorry. I didn't realize. Jo? Why don't we leave them alone?"

Jo followed Meg out, paused in the door, and gave Kyo a thumb's up. She left.

Amy appeared. "Fixed your phone, Kyo. And I put our contact info in your web-based e-mail account. And gave you the links to cyber security web sites because you passwords suck. Left it out in the kitchen."

"Thanks Amy."

"Take time to kiss Sei good night." Amy left. Kyo groaned.

Daiki stuck his head in the door. "Kyo, you, uh, decent? I can leave whenever you're ready. Leo and I fixed it. Take you're time, man." He vanished.

"Oh, boy," Kyo groaned.

"Yeah, I know." Sei hugged Kyo. "But all in all, that was wonderful. I guess I just needed a little cuddle session. Thank you."

"You're welcome." And he thought, 'As nice as this was, I'm glad this is over with.'

But his relief vanished when Sei added: "Don't worry. Next time, I'll make sure no one will bother us."

THE END


End file.
